Best Funny & Humours Instagram Captions and Quotes

Make your friends and followers laugh with these 180+ funny captions for Instagram. Use these funny captions in your Instagram posts or videos.

Funny Captions for Instagram

Do you like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometimes!

Free hot dogs and chili, you always pay for them later.

You’ll never be as fabulous as a llamacorn.

I got back with my Ex… Box 360.

At least this balloon is attracted to me!

A blind man walks into a bar… And a chair… and a table.

Completely clumsy, proudest of geek & nerd, decreaser of world sucking.

I’m really not amusing. I’m just truly mean and individuals think I am kidding.

WARNING: I will go into survival mode if tickled!

When Instagram was down, I ran around town shouting “like” at flowers, dogs, and expensive brunches.

That awkward moment when someone is watching you take a picture of yourself.

Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt.

stop stop, I’m gonna pee

If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?

A blind man walks into a bar… And a chair… and a table.

Oh, you’re a model? What’s your agency, Instagram?

Say “Beer Can” with a British accent. I just taught you to say “Bacon” with a Jamaican accent.

I had fun once, it was horrible.

It’s funny because it’s true.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram

The Monday-est Tuesday ever.

A selfie a day keeps the mental breakdown away.

Walking past a class with your friends in it.

A friend will always make you Smile, especially when you don’t want to…

Thank you for making me feel less alone

How did I get back to my crib last night

All I need is Chipotle.

Today I will be as useless as letter g in lasagna.

I liked memes before they were on Instagram.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

I need a six month holiday, twice a year

I don’t have ex’s; I have Y’s. Like, “Why did I ever date you?”

Need an ark? I Noah guy.

What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.

Weekend, please don’t leave me.

Oh, hi there!

survived another “end of the world” scenario

Puts a selfie on top of the tree because I’m the star.

I woke up like this

I think you are lacking Vitamin me!

Friday, my second favorite F word

When I feel a little down, I put on my favorite high heels and dance

They say the tongue is the strongest muscle of the body. Wanna fight?

This seat is taken

We serve drinks cheaper and colder than your EX.

If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram caption.

All you need is love! And a tiara. And maybe a cookie.

You lost your phone and it’s on silent? Too bad, if you liked it, you should have put a ring on it.

Longline at Starbucks, first-world problems.

Life isn’t perfect… But my Hair is! #selfieaddict

Funny Instagram Captions

Oh, you’re a model? What’s your agency, Instagram?

Spreading grins like their herpes.

My life is about as sorted out as the $5 DVD canister at Wal-Mart.

I like being myself. Maybe just slimmer, with a few fewer wrinkles.

I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.

Live, laugh, love. And if that doesn’t work, load, aim fire.

If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?

Real men don’t take selfies.

I just rap occasionally.

Onions make me sad. A lot of people don’t realize that.

Uncovered. Frequently Unreliable. Effectively distract.

if a redhead works at a bakery, does that make him a gingerbread man?

Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about

Text me back or I’ll find you.

I don’t have Ex’s, I have Y’s. Like “Why Did I ever date you?”

Did you swallow magnets? Cause you are attractive!

At dawn, we ride

we made it, it’s Friday!

This is how I look taking a selfie.

We’ll be friends for life because you already know too much!

There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.

I changed all my passwords to Incorrect.

They say “Love is in the air.” Maybe that’s why there is so much air pollution these days.

Show anyone and I’ll kill you.

Hey, I just met you, this is crazy

Hey good lookin, can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?

It never rains during the weekend

Does anybody have plans to stare at their phone somewhere exciting this weekend?

Bitch I want to slap you, but in which face I don’t know.

I’m on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.

Always accept yourself. Unless you are a serial killer. Then please change.

I used to have superpowers but the psychiatrist took them away.

Women drivers rev my engine.

You can ask Tommy, Hilfiger it out!

Chocolate doesn’t make inquiries, chocolate gets it.

Dear vegetarians, if you’re trying to save animals, then why are you eating their food?

When I was in Rome… I did what the Romans did.

Girls–be as picky with your men as I was with this selfie.

Lost in a world that doesn’t exist.

Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.

Crossfit? I play real sports

Coffee – Because crack is bad for you.

Making people unsure about my gender on a daily basis.

I will eat just one, I swear

I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship!

Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously, a girl because it won’t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.

The only F word out a woman’s mouth that scares me is “fine.”

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

I liked memes before they were on Instagram

Yea, dating is cool but have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

When nothing goes right, go left instead.

My relationship status? Netflix, Oreos, and warm-up pants.

Showing myself at my worst so the next selfie I post, you’ll all be astounded by my stunning transformation.

I need a six-month holiday, twice a year.

I don’t always surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows!

Flawless has 7 letters thus does meeeeee. Incident? I think not.

May your day feel as good as taking this perfect selfie on the first try.

If a redhead works at a bakery, does that make them the gingerbread man?

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