180+ Funny Instagram Captions

Funny Instagram Captions

I need a six month holiday, twice a year

If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?

How did I get back to my crib last night

we made it, it’s Friday!

I read the twilight books

When I feel a little down, I put on my favorite high heels and dance

Friday, my second favorite F word

Women drivers rev my engine

I like cooties

Hey, I just met you, this is crazy

At least this balloon is attracted to me!

I must destroy you with hugs and kisses

Stop looking for happiness in the same place you just lost it

I woke up like this

Oh, you’re a model? What’s your agency, Instagram?

I will eat just one, I swear

I liked memes before they were on Instagram

if a redhead works at a bakery, does that make him a gingerbread man?

If we could only turn back time…

Keep smiling because life is a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram

Thank you for making me feel less alone

The only F word out a woman’s mouth that scares me is “fine.”

Crossfit? I play real sports

A blind man walks into a bar… And a chair… and a table.

At dawn, we ride

you are enough

This seat is taken

I wasn’t lucky, I deserved it

I had fun once, it was horrible

survived another “end of the world” scenario

stop stop, I’m gunna pee

Hey good lookin, can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?

Puts selfie on top of the tree because I’m the star.

Is I in trouble?

I don’t have Ex’s, I have Y’s. Like “Why Did I ever date you?”

It never rains during the weekend

There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.

Oh, hi there!

When Instagram was down, I ran around town shouting “like” at flowers, dogs, and expensive brunches.

I like being myself. Maybe just slimmer, with a few fewer wrinkles.

I think you are lacking Vitamin me!

Friday, my second favorite F word.

Give me the chocolate and nobody gets hurt.

Onions make me sad. A lot of people don’t realize that.

Always accept yourself. Unless you are a serial killer. Then please change.

A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it.

Free hot dogs and chili, you always pay for them later.

Girls–be as picky with your men as I was with this selfie.

I just rap occasionally.

Long line at Starbucks, first world problems.

Lost in the world that doesn’t exist.

Women drivers rev my engine.

Weekend, please don’t leave me.

You lost your phone and it’s on silent? Too bad, if you liked it, you should have put a ring on it.

I got back with my Ex… Box 360.

Say “Beer Can” with a British accent. I just taught you to say “Bacon” with a Jamaican accent.

The Monday-est Tuesday ever.

You can ask Tommy, Hilfiger it out!

Stay Alive. Challenge Accepted!

Uncovered. Frequently Unreliable. Effectively distract.

You’ll never be as fabulous as a llamacorn.

Making people unsure about my gender on a daily basis.

If a dentist makes their money from unhealthy teeth, why would I trust a product 4/5 of them recommend?

Real men don’t take selfies.

My life is about as sorted out as the $5 DVD canister at Wal-Mart.

I liked memes before they were on Instagram.

Show anyone and I’ll kill you.

So, you’re on Instagram? You must be an amazing photographer.

Did you swallow magnets? Cause you are attractive!

Dear vegetarians, if you’re trying to save animals, then why are you eating their food?

It’s funny because it’s true.

Is Google a boy or a girl? Obviously, a girl because it won’t let you finish your sentence without suggesting other ideas.

I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship!

Do you like sleeping? Me too! We should do it together sometimes!

I didn’t choose the thug life, the thug life chose me.

What if I told you, you can eat without posting it on Instagram.

I don’t always study, but when I do, I don’t.

All I need is Chipotle.

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

Text me back or I’ll find you.

All you need is love! And a tiara. And maybe a cookie.

Today I will be as useless as letter g in lasagna.

I’m on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.

Walking past a class with your friends in it.

We’ll be friends for life because you already know too much!

I had fun once, it was horrible.

That awkward moment when someone is watching you take a picture of yourself.

Life isn’t perfect… But my Hair is! #selfieaddict

They say “Love is in the air.” Maybe that’s why there is so much air pollution these days.

WARNING: I will go into survival mode if tickled!

Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

Bitch I want to slap you, but in which face I don’t know.

This is how I look taking a selfie.

Oh, you’re a model? What’s your agency, Instagram?

Chocolate doesn’t make inquiries, chocolate gets it.

Does anybody have plans to stare at their phone somewhere exciting this weekend?

So you’re telling me I have a chance.

A blind man walks into a bar… And a chair… and a table.

I don’t have ex’s; I have Y’s. Like, “Why did I ever date you?”

We serve drinks cheaper and colder than your EX.

I’m really not amusing. I’m just truly mean and individuals think I am kidding.

Live, laugh, love. And if that doesn’t work, load, aim fire.

When I was in Rome… I did what the Romans did.

A friend will always make you Smile, especially when you don’t want to…

Spreading grins like their herpes.

A selfie a day keeps the mental breakdown away.

Completely clumsy, proudest of geek & nerd, decreaser of world sucking.

I changed all my passwords to Incorrect.

Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.

There may be no excuse for laziness, but I’m still looking.

If I was funny, I would have a good Instagram caption.

They say tongue is the strongest muscle of the body. Wanna fight?

Need an ark? I Noah guy.

I used to have superpowers but the psychiatrist took them away.

Yea, dating is cool but have you ever had stuffed crust pizza?

At least this balloon is attracted to me!

Coffee – Because crack is bad for you.

Funny Captions for Instagram

99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

When nothing goes right, go left instead.

My relationship status? Netflix, Oreos, and warm-up pants.

Showing myself at my worst so the next selfie I post, you’ll all be astounded by my stunning transformation.

I need a six month holiday, twice a year.

I don’t always surf the internet, but when I do, eyebrows!

Flawless has 7 letters thus does meeeeee. Incident? I think not.

May your day feel as good as taking this perfect selfie on the first try.

If a redhead works at a bakery, does that make them the gingerbread man?